


Curiosity and the Cat

by edwardcivet



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Cats, Cuddling, Fluff, General Nonsensicalness, I went nuts on the last chapter, M/M, Not much of a plot, Roomates, Slice of Life, literally hehe, lots of it!, well it's there if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22335361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edwardcivet/pseuds/edwardcivet
Summary: L happens upon a cat at the bus stop one day.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 15
Kudos: 59





	1. Mousse

L was no outdoorsman in any sense of the word, but even he could appreciate the welcoming days of spring in Japan. Not that he was fond of any season in particular, he was just glad the wet snow had finally disappeared. He picked up his pace. Since it was so warm outside, he figured why not meet Light at the bus stop? Normally, he’d just stay home and finish up work.  
_Well, why not shake things up for one day?_  
L squat on the bench, chin resting on his knees as he stared at the clouds. The sunlight filtered through the roof of the bus shelter, casting a hazy green glow on the bench. Just last week, Light had finished his internship at the NPA, becoming a full-fledged police officer. While L was none too happy about being separated from his boyfriend for most of the day, he was glad Light was able to put his brilliant mind to good use. L was so buried in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the furry animal slinking out from under the bench.  
“Mroww.”  
_A cat!_ L was a little startled at this new arrival. It was a long black cat, with short fur that stuck out everywhere, as if someone had rubbed it with a balloon. L couldn’t miss its big jungle green eyes or the way the sunlight made its dark fur look chocolatey brown. L sucked in his breath. He had no idea how to interact with animals, least of all a _cat_ , which he considered to be one of the more unpredictable creatures. He curled in on himself and scooted to the right, hoping the cat would lose interest and wander off. The cat, not taking the hint (Or it did and it just didn’t care), hopped on the bench to the left of him. L ignored it. The cat's gaze bored into him.  
“Mew!” the cat took its chances and rubbed against L’s side.  
L was flustered.  
“ _O-oh, um-_ ” he stammered, freezing up. _It seems friendly. But one wrong move and I could get a pretty bad scratch. But.._  
~  
Light gazed out the bus window and at the blue sky, dotted with clouds. He smiled to himself. _We haven’t had a day this nice in a while, maybe I could drag L out for a walk._ It had been a fairly standard day at the office, no big cases at the moment. Light was certainly looking forward to coming home. The bus slowed to a stop and he exited.  
Light was slightly confused to see _L_ of all people at the bus stop. He was crouched on the pavement with his back turned to Light. It looked like he was whispering, but to _what?_  
Light moved to place a hand on L’s shoulder. “Ryuzaki? What are you doing here?” Light asked.  
L looked back with a cheeky grin adorning his pale face. He slowly rose to his feet, and turned around.  
Light wasn’t quite sure what to think. A _cat?_  
“Where did it come from? I’m guessing it’s a stray.”  
“Yeah, just came out of nowhere. It’s friendly though, it just approached me like it trusted me completely.” L answered, making kissy noises at the cat sprawled in his arms.  
Light knew how demanding cats could be, it would just be another thing to worry about. _But_...there was a part of him that wouldn’t mind having a little pet around.  
“We should take it to the vet and get it checked out.” Light told him. “ _But that doesn’t mean we’re going to keep it_.” he added.  
L just hummed in reply.  
~  
Light couldn’t stop looking at L, still holding the cat, as they walked to the vet. L and the cat were conversing, if you could call it that. L would speak softly and the cat would meow back. Light shook his head in disbelief.  
“I told you, just because we’re taking it to the vet, it doesn’t mean we are going to adopt it, so don’t get attached.”  
The cat _mrrow-ed_ its disagreement.  
“Looks to me you’re just jealous that Mousse and I have hit it off so well.” L countered, grinning slyly.  
“ _Mousse._ Of course you named it after a dessert.” Light rolled his eyes. “Didn't you hear me before?”  
“Oh, even if we don’t keep it, I can still name it.”  
Mousse meowed. L meowed back. Light sighed.  
~

Sitting in two plastic chairs, Light looked over at L as the veterinarian gave them a rundown of Mousse’s information. All he really caught was that one, Mousse was female and anywhere from 4-6 years old, two, she was in good health, and lastly, to L’s delight, she was devoid of any microchip. The vet passed the black cat to L.  
“So are you two planning to take her in?”  
L pouted at Light. “ _I_ think we should take her in. She’s healthy so why not?”  
Light really didn’t feel like arguing with L here. Now that he thought of it, the cat would be good company for L while he worked at home. _I guess that settles it, then. You win this one, L._  
“Yes, we’ll keep her. But since _you’re_ the one working from home,” Light said looking at L, “you’ll be the one feeding her, giving her water, _and_ taking care of the litter box.”  
L looked like he was going to raise his thumb to his mouth, but he couldn’t, he was holding Mousse. She looked rather pleased with herself.  
“Alright, then.” L said after a moment.  
~  
L browsed the cat collar section at the neighboring pet shop while Light gathered the essentials, food, and litter among other things. L chuckled when he spotted a black leather collar dotted with little spikes. He looked down at Mousse, who was riding in a carrier, and tilted his head.  
“No, I don’t think that would suit you at all.”  
He then scanned a row of harnesses for cats. _Hmm. Maybe Light would take her out for a walk; if you even can walk a cat._ L decided to grab a harness, along with a green bell collar that he thought matched Mousse’s eyes.  
Light came back with a hefty load of food and litter, along with a litter box. “Find one you like?”  
L lifted the collar along with the harness.  
“Ha, I didn’t know they made harnesses for cats! Taking her on a walk _would_ be less risky than letting her out on her own.”  
“I think she could handle herself, she has for most of her life, until now.” L defended, raising his non-existent eyebrows.  
“She could get hit by a car. Or attacked by some other animal, if she doesn’t get a disease first.”  
“Looks like _someone_ doesn’t have much faith in your survival abilities~” L cooed to Mousse. Mousse stared back blankly.  
~  
_At last._ She was free from that awful box. Mousse surveyed her new environment and took a whiff. The ceilings were very high up and the wall across from the door was just an expansive window with a mysterious glass door flanking the couch. From the ceiling shone bright lights like miniature suns. Mousse was confused, but all the more entranced and curious. Her new humans were bustling around the space chattering to each other about who knows what. Humans never shut up. She looked over at the pairs of shoes parked by the door. Most of them smelled of the auburn-haired human, with an exception for a pair of beat-up sneakers which looked as if they had been to hell and back. They definitely matched the more sloppy appearing black-haired one.  
Mousse sniffed the air. Ah, _food!_ Black-hair had pulled out a large tub of something and set it on the counter separating the kitchen from the living room.  
“Mew, mew, mew, me- _oow_!” Mousse chittered bounding towards the kitchen.  
“Hey, slow down there,” Auburn-hair scooped her up and carried her towards the couch flanking the window-wall. Mousse hissed, she wanted the _**FOOD**_. She wiggled in his arms until she was seated on the couch. Before she could try anything, a collar was fastened around her neck. Faster than the speed of light, Mousse darted for the kitchen, the bell on her collar jingling madly.  
“No, not for you.” Black-hair pushed her backward. Mousse spat, puffing herself up. She would NOT stand being pushed around by humans!  
Auburn-hair chuckled from behind her. “You heard him, off you go.” She was lifted up and dropped on the ground.  
“Mrrrrrrrrrrrr-ou..” Mousse immediately forgot what she was mad about as she noticed an open door. A new room! Exciting!  
Nearly all of the exciting new room was taken up by one giant bed, overlooked by a night-blue canopy. Mousse was overcome with joy at one incredible sight. _A bunch of drawers!_ She raced to the dresser and leaped into the lowest drawer open. It was warm, soft, compact, and Mousse couldn’t have been any more satisfied.  
~  
L hummed to himself as he prepared what can only be described as an abomination of nature. To be specific, he was pouring his heart into a chocolate ice-cream sundae topped with a gracious amount of whipped cream, chocolate chips, caramel sauce, sugar cubes for whatever reason, and a few strawberries. _I’ve waited months for this,_ he thought with glee.  
Meanwhile, Light was splayed on the long corner couch reading a thick book. He glanced at L work on his self-proclaimed ‘masterpiece’. _Yuck. Why would you put sugar cubes in anything that’s not coffee?...Well, this is L._ He couldn’t help find it endearing how L never seemed to mind everyone mercilessly criticizing his diet. _L, sweet L._  
Light noticed Mousse slink out of their bedroom and to the glass door that opened to the balcony. She pawed at it and requested outdoor access.  
“Meow.”  
“No way. Even if I did let you out, there wouldn’t be much for you to do besides sitting on the rails, _and_ I don’t trust that you won’t just jump off.” Light chuckled.  
“Meeeeee-ow.” Mousse complained.  
Light ignored her and went back to his book.  
Mousse padded to the couch where Light rested. Mousse wrinkled her nose, Auburn-hair had done nothing but boss her around ever since she found the other human. Who did he think he was? She was about to turn tail back to the bedroom when she heard Auburn-hair call her.  
“ _Mousse_ ~”  
Light held out his hand. _How DO you get a cat to come to you..? Oh, right._ He made a kissy noise. His face lit up as Mousse tentatively crawled towards him, looking wary with her ears angled backward.  
“ _Mrrm_ ,” Mousse moved to bump his hand with her nose.  
_I better let her make the first move, or she’ll bolt._  
After a moment, Mousse must’ve made up her mind as she let Light run his hand across her back. Her tail rose in the air like a flag.  
Light whispered, “It wouldn’t be fair for L to have you all to himself, now would it?”  
“Mewp!” Mousse leaped onto his chest with a soft purr.  
~  
L nibbled his thumb as he took in his creation. _Ah, that's it._ He yanked open a bag of panda crackers and dumped them on the sundae.  
“Woohoo.”  
His ice-cream monstrosity in tow, L shuffled to the living room, only to see Light with Mousse curled into his neck. L pouted, his eyes narrowed. Light just smirked and narrowed his eyed back.  
“Jealous? Of me or the cat?” Light teased.  
“Well, _I_ was the one who found her,”  
L pushed Light’s legs to the side and plopped on the couch with a heavy _harrumph_. “We’re living here together, so we’ll share custody over her.” L said unintelligibly with his mouth full of ice cream.  
Light laughed, but it was full of warmth. In fact, Mousse could sense the heat radiating off of him as the two talked about whatever. That warmth was transferred as Light stroked her fur. It seemed she was wrong about him. She nuzzled into his neck and purred. She was _very_ certain she was going to enjoy her stay here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thank you very much for reading! This is actually my first fanfiction...ever! I can't wait to write more and hone my skills, so feedback would be appreciated! Thanks and have a nice day! (=^･ω･^=)


	2. Congregation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Light is at work, L and Mousse face some unexpected guests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and comments! Hope you enjoy this new installment, I look forward to any comments!

Light slowly opened his eyes as the invasive sunlight got brighter. He had propped him and L on about six throw pillows. L was wrapped in his arms, squished between his chest and the back of the couch. Light straightened himself to get a better look. He brushed aside L’s wild black hair and saw his tongue peeking out as he softly snored. Light chuckled, for all that talk about insomnia, L could sleep like a cat when he wanted to. He stroked L’s wasp-nest of hair, causing him to stir. 

“ _ Mmmgh,” _ L half-opened his eyes and upon being blasted with the light, quickly closed them. 

“Morning, Panda.” 

L grumbled and buried his face into Light’s chest. Light moved to kiss his forehead but stopped.

_ ….Shit. What time is it? _ He grabbed his flip phone.  _ 7:20 _ . 

“I’ve got 40 minutes ‘till work. Come on, get up.”

L sniffed and sat up, his hair an absolute disaster. 

Light laughed at the display but then realized something. L’s never had to do his hair, Watari’s job most likely. So that meant  _ he  _ was the only one who could salvage L’s emo tufts.  _ Great. _

“L, to the bathroom. I need to fix your hair.”

L rolled his eyes. “ _ Now? _ You should be getting ready-”

“Have you ever brushed your hair by  _ yourself? _ ”

“I could  _ try _ .” L had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. 

Light pulled L to their bathroom and started digging around in drawers.

“Do you know where we put your hair stuff?”

“Dunno.” L pulled open a few drawers.

“Mau.” Mousse scrambled out of the bottom right drawer. The drawer with the hair product. Perfect.

“Thanks, Mousse.” Light said idly and squirted some on his hand.

“Meow-row-row. Mew.” Mousse greeted them whilst threading through their legs.

L  _ would _ have enjoyed having Light’s hands in his hair if we weren’t doing so  _ rough _ . He stared down his reflection in the bathroom mirror, an eternal pout plastered on his face.

~

Mousse mumbled in concern. She had watched Light stride out the door wearing a mahogany-red suit, not even giving his lover a parting glance. Why had they been so curt with each other? Were they always like this? Mousse  _ had _ arrived only yesterday. She settled in a loafing position on the top of the couch and stared out the window at the shimmering city ahead. 

She knew in no uncertain terms these two  _ were _ more than mere  _ roommates _ . Just last night they were cuddling on the couch like a pair of kittens. Mousse had been very curious about such a show of intimacy, she hadn’t seen anything like it before. She decided, as the head of her new household, she had the right to join them. It looked like they were watching a noisy flashing square on the wall parallel to them. Whatever it was, the humans didn’t seem interested at all. They were just chatting with each other, L pressed to Light’s chest. Through paying attention she could deduce that the one with black hair’s name was “Elle”. Or “Ryuzaki”. Or “panda”. He had many names, but L seemed to be the most common. The other man was Light. That was his only name. L had purred Light’s name and gazed up at him, his eyelids drooping. They both exchanged whispers and eventually did some human ritual where they locked mouths. Mousse didn’t know a whole lot about human behavior, but even she could tell these two  _ must _ be close-knit. 

Mousse sprawled out and rolled over. The two had even neglected to lock mouths before they parted.  _ Hmm. They should’ve hugged each other at the very least. Hugging seems to make humans feel better. _ She decided to stick to L’s side all day.

~

L sat at his desk, trying to work on  _ something _ but he just couldn’t.  _ Turns out this case isn’t as complex as I thought it was. Guess I still have to finish it, can’t just quit ‘cause I got bored. Or can I..? Heh. Wonder how Light would react if I just dropped a case? Probably like he did back when we were investigating Yotsuba. _ L patted Mousse’s head. She was curled up on his lap purring.  _ Oh, that must be it. I kinda need that 40% percent of deduction ability.  _ He picked up Mousse and unceremoniously dropped her on the floor. She lashed her tail and went to rest on his and Light’s bed. L went back to his computer.

Out of the blue, there was a loud bang on the door. 

_ Huh? Did Light forget something? No, he would’ve been back sooner, it’s 13:00 now.  _

He shuffled over to the door, Mousse crawled out and watched him from under the couch. 

L opened the door, “Yes?”

_ Oh my god. _ It was his least favorite heir. 

“Howdy.” Without warning, Beyond Birthday pushed past L and into their apartment. L slammed the door shut. 

“ **_B?!_ ** ” 

B gestured with his arms in a _“whatcha gonna do”_ kind of way. “In the flesh. _Heheh,_ you shoulda seen the look on your face. You looked like you just saw a Death God or something.” B looked up and spun in a circle. “Can’t believe you’ve never invited me here? This must be the bedroo- **woah** _._ _Damn_ , bet you two _lo-ove_ it here!” B made a show of waggling his burnt off eyebrows. 

“Okay,  _ how _ and  _ why _ are you here?? Do you want something? You didn’t have to  _ barge  _ in.” L slouched over further, painfully aware of how his still messy post-apocalyptic hair must look. 

“Just saw that your boyfriend posted about your _new_ _widdle_ _kitty-cat!_ ” B looked around and his eyes went wide. “ ** _OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!_** ” He dragged poor Mousse out from under the couch. She flailed around and hissed.

_ Posted? If Light had a blog or something, surely I would’ve known…  _

“Please put her down. If you want to stay here, don’t  _ burn  _ anything.” L growled, still wondering about  _ where _ exactly Light posted about Mousse.

“ Oh come  _ on _ , that was  _ years _ ago! The only thing I’ve been  _ burning  _ is TOAST. Look, your cat is fine. She hasn’t combusted.” B explained huffily. He paused. “Speakin’ of toast..”

B dropped Mousse and bustled towards the kitchen. Mousse ducked for cover in the TV cabinet. L pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. “Just how long do you plan on staying here?”

B opened the bread bag. “Man, I dunno. I was already comin’ here to see you and then I heard about the cat…”

“ _ How long? _ ” L snapped louder than he intended.

“A week? Come on, the flight from California to Japan ain’t cheap.” B put five pieces of toast in the oven. 

“No.” 

B buzzed around the kitchen.“Hey, where’s the jam? You don’t have any? Guess I’ll go some- no, then you won’t let me back in here. Hmm.”

Two light knocks could be heard.

_ Two in one day? Who is it now?  _ This time, L decided to look through the peephole. 

**_Misa Amane?!_ **

Four more knocks in rapid succession. 

“I know you’re in there Ryuzaki!! I could hear you arguing as I came up here!” Misa glowered into the peephole.

L frowned and opened the door. “Light’s at work now-  _ oh _ .”

Tucked in her arm was a stout calico cat. She wore a sparkling black collar to match her comically large black tutu.

The cat stared blankly. “Meow.”

“Oh, this is Minako!”

“...From  _ Sailor Moon? _ ”

“YESS!” Misa pumped her free hand in the air. “Even  _ you _ can appreciate the classics. Okay, now I wanna see  _ your _ kitty!” she bustled into the apartment.

“Misa, wait.  _ Where  _ did you hear about Mousse?”

Misa looked back. “You named her Mousse? Aw, that’s so cuuuute!! Like the dessert or-  _ Who the heck are YOU _ ?”

B had two pieces of toast stuffed into his mouth. “Hmmfmoh. Who are  _ you? _ ”

Misa looked at B and then at L. She looked back at B and then L. “Are you two...related?”

L blinked and looked at B. “Uh, yeah.”

B nodded. “Mmmff.”

“Huh. I like your contacts.” Misa pointed at B’s blood-red eyes.

“Like yours too.”

“HEY! I DO have naturally blue eyes!”

While the two bantered, L noticed Minako tramp over to the TV cabinet. Mousse growled. L sighed and went to flop on the couch. It looked like B and Misa were hitting it off. It did make sense, both had displayed murderous tendencies in the past and seemed to share a fascination with the macabre (B to a lesser extent, being such a neat freak).

“ _ NO _ . PINEAPPLE PIZZA  _ IS  _ EDIBLE. I’D PROVE IT TO YOU, BUT THERE ISN’T ANY HERE.” B yelled passionately from the kitchen.

“WHY WOULD YOU PUT ANY FRUIT ON PIZZA?” Misa countered.

“ **_TOMATO?!_ ** ” 

L entombed his head under a pillow. He already had enough of this. Why was it that every person other than Light and Watari made him so _exhausted?_ Now they were just arguing with each other like he wasn’t there. _Why_ were people like this? He had no idea how to act outside of a professional business setting. An exception being Light, of course, he was just nice to talk to. Maybe he just really wanted to be in Light’s arms right now. L huffed. Not like he wasn’t coming back, he would be here... _wait_. L squinted to read the clock when a sudden loud yowl made him jump. 

“MRRROWW- _ FFFTT _ !” Mousse pounced on Minako and flipped her over. The two adversaries tumbled over and over, caterwauling and hissing as they spared. 

Misa tried to break them up but halted. “MinaKOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Come on, get ‘er, get er’ Mousse!  _ Mousse, Mousse, Mou- _ ”

The door slammed open. Light stood in the doorway looking utterly bewildered. Taking in the scene before him, he closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

“Would  _ someone _ like to explain what the  _ hell _ is going on here?”

~

Light couldn’t help but laugh as B told Misa his alleged backstory. From his body language alone, it was clear to see he was making everything up as he went. Based on what L had told him in the past, Light assumed B must be a pain in the ass, to put it lightly. Light snickered under his breath. B was  _ not  _ staying with them. He stood up to address B and Misa.

“Alright, you two have had your fun, but I think it’s time for you guys to go.” Light couldn’t miss the grateful glance L gave him. 

Surprisingly, B obliged. He rose to his feet and arched his back to yawn. “If you say so. I’ll find another time to bother you two, just wait.  _ Sayonara _ .”

Misa pouted. “ Can’t  _ I  _ stay longer? We three could get something to eat, watch a movie, play with the cats? I’m sure Minako and Mousse would have fun!”

Currently, Light was the only thing keeping Mousse and Minako from disemboweling each other. 

“No, it’s getting late Misa. Maybe another time.”

Misa stared at the floor for a moment, then shrugged and picked up a still bristling Minako. “Well alrighty then,” She pointed playfully at L. “ You better be good to him!”

“Oh, I will.”

When Misa shut the door, Light pulled L close in a one-armed hug.

“You can just  _ not  _ answer the door, y’know. That’s what I always did in middle school.”

L snorted. “Can’t believe I had to manage them all by  _ myself _ . Guess I got a long way to go in terms of being  _ social _ .” He scrunched up his face.

“You’re lucky I’m here. It wouldn’t kill you to make some connections though,” Light quickly added, “No the police do  _ not  _ count.”

L yawned and rested a cheek on Light’s shoulder. “Whatever. I’m tired.”

“ _ Hmm.  _ Me too,” Light nuzzled into L’s hair. “Aw, you didn’t even  _ try _ to brush your hair?”

L stroked Light’s vermillion tie. “I was a little preoccupied.”

“Want me to brush it?”

L opened his eyes slightly. “Yes, I’d like that.”

Mousse looked up from her food bowl. Now she was confuzzled, here were L and Light acting all sappy and sweet again. What was this morning about then? Perhaps she looked too far into it, maybe they had their spat and then forgot about it like alley cats. She walked over and hopped on the couch. They were certainly enjoying being together, equal amounts of warmth blazing off both of them. Humans were more multifaceted than Mousse initially thought. 

Mousse moved to loaf on L’s feet. L tilted his head and crooned something to Light as he brushed his raven hair. She thought he looked a bit like a cat himself, clearly enjoying being groomed. Now  _ she  _ wanted to be brushed.

“Mrrow!”

Light poked Mousse’s nose. “Not now, Mousse,” He then slipped a finger under L’s chin to incline it towards him.  _ There we go. Such nice hair, wish he’d take care of it. _

There was a rap at the door. Light looked at L, who was staring at the doorway looking rather horrified.

“ _ Shh.  _ Just ignore it.” Light whispered in L’s ear. L exhaled and looked lovingly at Light, a small smile on his face. Light beamed back as he cupped his bony cheek.

“ _ My little panda~ _ ” And with that, he leaned in to kiss L.


	3. INTERLUDE~ Mousse's Guide to the Care and Keeping of your Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The following has been translated from Feline to English for your convenience. Enjoy! :3

I never really thought twice about stupid humans until I got two stupid humans myself. Yes, they welcomed me into their luxurious den like I was another one of their glorified naked apes. I'm quite certain this has happened and will happen to others of the _Felis_ genus, particularly my fellow _Felis catus_. Fear not, humans really aren't as dull or aggressive as they may initially come off. It's all a matter of keeping them under your watchful feline eye.

You will want to learn your human's unique eccentricities and quirks, it will improve your understanding of them tenfold. This is especially critical if you decide to keep more than one human. Take my two humans for example. Below, I have compiled everything I have observed of their behavior, both as individuals and a pair. 

**L** (No, I am not pulling your tail. He really is named after the English character.)

 **Aliases include:** Ryuzaki, Panda, and occasionally "cutie-pie". That last one pushes him over the edge.

\- Physical appearance rather sloppy. Messy hair, hunchbacked, and has literally one outfit. Looks like he just crawled out of a dumpster that's tumbled down a hill. Very distinct. 

\- Likes to perch on the feces-bowl (Diagonal to my own litterbox) like some kind of flightless bird. Unnerving. Now that I think of it, unnerving is just the word I would use to describe dear L.

\- Some positives. Stays in the den all day. Likes to cuddle in the morning and late into the night, but not all the time, thank Felis. (A side note: It would be in any cat's best interest to find the human that best suits their personal need for physical affection. Not too cuddly, but not too detached.) Also, he is the dealer of food and table scraps. You should always maintain a positive relationship with the food dealer.

 **Light** (Who in the name of Felis named these humans?)

 **Aliases include:** Not that I know of.

\- Exceedingly well-groomed, undistorted posture. Smells nice, like pine as well as something _sharp_ that I can't quite put my claw on. Has a variety of outfits, all heavily contrast with his partner. (Yes I did say partner, I will get to that.)

\- Mysteriously disappears for most of the day. When at home, he is conservative with his affection. Towards me, at least. 

**Their relationship**  


\- They'll have their spats, separate, and then seemingly forget about it the next time they see each other. Weird.

\- Like feral toms, they sure enjoy their wrestling. I have no idea why, but not like I care. 

-One time, Light stepped on my tail whilst wrestling. I went and pissed in his shoes. You must be able to discipline your humans. 

\- Back to L and Light, they can be really sickly sweet with each other. Even if I am their owner, I have no obligation to watch them feed each other or anything gross like that.

Now, every cat should be able to recognize the difference between a _friendship_ and a _romantic pairing_ when two humans are concerned. Romance can be easy to spot, especially when it's just you and your humans in your den. Do expect excessive cuddling, mouth locking, and what I will only describe as abnormally _frisky_ behavior. (If the clothes are on, then it's wrestling. If not, go somewhere else.)

One important note, if your humans lock you out of the bedroom, it's for a good reason. You would be better off finding something else to do, especially if you hear any sort of caterwauling through the walls. None of your business. 

It can be fun to be in the middle of a romantic relationship. If you find your humans in a pile, I would whole-heartedly recommend for you to squeeze in between them. All the warmth a cat could ask for. The humans will are likely to be in a sappy mood, so you'll get some pets if that's what you're after.

Well then, that is all I have to share with you. To any cats looking to adopt a human of their own, I wish you the best of luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers!!! I wanted to add something since the third chapter has been giving me some trouble :,D Hope you enjoyed this little addition! I thank you all very much for your kudos and look forward to any comments!


	4. Manju

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new challenger approaches..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, that chapter sure took longer than expected! That was probably 'cause of me procrastinating..ANYWHO it's here now so who cares! Enjoy!

It was one of those mornings. The moment when your mind wakes up just before your body. Just starting to comprehend your surroundings. L was curled in a ball, thumb to his lips. He felt Mousse curled into his stomach, squished between his arms and legs. He felt the heavy covers trapping their combined heat. It gave him an odd sense of contentment. Or it would, if L didn’t notice something was missing. The confining blankets were abruptly yanked off and he was hoisted into Light’s arms. 

“ _Mmmgh,_ ” L’s eyelids still refused to let any light in. He nuzzled into his boyfriend’s neck. It was probably the heat making him so drowsy. Or Light’s comforting scent. “Could’ve warned me first.”

“If I’m up you might as well be too. You _are_ a pretty cute sleeper though.”

L squirmed in his arms. “Stop calling me cute.”

Light kissed his nose. “Whatever you say, _panda_.” L wrinkled it up in response.

~

L nibbled on his toaster strudel and cast a glance at Light. Upon noticing Light’s breakfast consisted of one cup of coffee, L offered some of his pastry. 

Light held up a hand. “No thanks, I’m fine.”

“I wouldn’t want you to be hungry, hunger is the worst kind of torture, you know.”

Light took a sip of his coffee.“I’d beg to differ.”

They went back to their breakfasts. L couldn’t help but peer at Light again, in that _brilliant_ maroon suit. L tried his best to look inconspicuous. Unbeknownst to him, the dilated pupils and parted lips were not helping the effect. Light threaded his tie through his fingers and bat his lashes at him. L furiously munched on the last of his pastry. 

_Damn it, he knows he looks good. I hate it. STOP LOOKING AT ME._ A warm hand crept to rest on his own long fingers. L tensed. Light wore an awfully cattish grin as he leaned ever closer from his bar stool. 

“You can be so obvious.” Light whispered, narrowing his eyes. “I would expect better from the _world’s greatest detective,_ hmm?” 

L felt like he was going to fall off his chair. All he could manage was a whimper as Light’s hand moved from his fingers to his chin and stroked his bottom lip. L closed his eyes and leaned in.

Light stood up suddenly, his hand leaving L’s lip. “We’ll finish this later, _L_.” he hummed, smirking. 

L just sat on his barstool, lids still drooping heavily. He blinked. _Hmph. Maybe I won’t want to continue._ L pouted at nothing in particular as Light slipped his shoes on.

“Say..L?” 

L didn’t bother to turn his head.

“You should take Mousse on a walk or else we got that harness for nothing.”

L looked over at Mousse scarfing down her food.

“Mow!” she said with her mouth full. L grumbled.

~

 _He’s so fun to tease._ Light grinned to himself as he waited for the elevator. It opened. B was there.

“Selamat-pagi, my friend.”

Light’s mouth opened slightly in surprise. “Huh?”

“Doesn’t mean anything. Hi.” B stepped aside for Light as he entered.

“What are you doing here?”

“Going down to the first floor like you. Do they have a breakfast buffet?”

“Wha-you’re thinking a hotel, but nevermind. _Why_ are you here?”

B shrugged. The doors slid open with a beep. “I came all the way from California, might as well stay somewhere nice, y’know?”

“You didn’t need to rent an _apartment_ if you’re just visiting.” Light checked his watch. _Damn it._ “Listen, I need to get to work _now_. We can talk later.”

B sped up beside Light. “Hey, we can still talk on the way! You walking or driving? Do you have a car or-”

Light gradually quickened his pace. B droned on behind him. Hopefully, B wouldn’t try to follow him into the taxi. It seemed B was as hungry for attention as L was when he was alone with Light. Perhaps the two _were_ related, distantly. Come to think of it, maybe B was the one who had knocked on the door last night? Not that it mattered now.

“And _that’s_ how I got banned from Olive Gard- hey, are you listening?”

Light spotted the taxi up ahead and made a run for it. 

“UH, TALK TO YOU LATER I GUESS. TAKE IT EASY MAN!” B shouted from the entrance. 

Light shut the door and slumped in the backseat. The driver did not comment.

~

“Ha-ha-CHOO,” L couldn’t believe it. He and Mousse had been out for only ten minutes and he was already all sniffly. Perfect. He plopped down on a bench and pitifully wiped his nose. _I suppose Light’s just going to have to dote on me all day._ Well that made him perk up a little. Mousse was growling at some bushes. There was nothing there.

~

“Light, Light, LOOK!!” Matsuda, looking rather disheveled, shoved his phone in Light’s face. The screen showed a blurry picture of a massive German Shepherd donning a pair of snazzy sunglasses. “I only got Yuki a few weeks ago AND SHE'S ALREADY RUN AWAY!!”

Light looked at the picture again. Only Matsuda could lose a dog _that_ big. “How did you lose her? Did you drop her leash?”

“Well, one day I let her loose, y’know, to do her business in the doggie park AND SHE NEVER CAME BACK!”

Light looked into the camera like on the Office. Except there was no camera, he was just staring into space. “I’m sure she’ll turn up eventually.” He turned back to his computer.

“I was gonna tell you and Ryuzaki last night, but I guess you two weren’t home,” He scratched the back of his head. “Well, here.” Matsuda handed him a few bright yellow fliers. They read something to the effect of “ **HELP LOST DOG HELP** ” in Kanji. 

“Hm. Maybe I’ll have Ryuzaki set up a _whole_ search-and-rescue operation.”

Matsuda beamed. “That’d be GREAT, thanks Light!” The sarcasm soared over his head like an X-15.

Light walked out of the building with five of Matsuda’s fliers. He had requested that everyone spread them around town. Light headed to the animal shelter, which seemed like the ideal place to put a missing pet notice. He just realized how odd he’d look there in his business suit, but he went in anyway. To his left was a long glass wall, giving visitors and the animals view of each other. Light had just dropped off a flyer at the front desk when one cat caught his eye. A fluffy brown and white tabby, fur splayed out on the floor as if it was melting. The cat still followed him with lemony eyes as he walked closer. Light lifted a finger to the window and the tabby pressed against the glass with its red nose. 

_I kind of want to see it up close, but L’s probably expecting me now._ The cat pawed the glass. _L can wait, not like I’m going to take it home or anything. There’s a whole adoption process anyway._

Light decided to go around to the cat room. The cat looked like it was expecting him. The tag on its cage stated that it was a male, 10 years of age. His name was Nagetto. _Nugget_. Nagetto reached through the cage and patted Light’s hair. 

“Mau.”

Light had made up his mind.

~

Light was led down the street by a newly-named Manju. (Light figured he better follow the trend L had set with Mousse.) Manju’s striped chocolate tail bobbed in the air as they trotted along. His new harness and leash were both bright red, somewhat matching Light’s suit. Yes, a well-groomed businessman being towed by a fluffy tabby cat. Far from the most abnormal thing to happen to Light Yagami.

~

L and Mousse broke through a wall of thick shrubbery. Ah, there it was, WcDonalds. They walked up to the ordering window, not even looking at the menu. L knew what he wanted. 

The employee stared at them. “Uh, may I help you?”

“Chocolate WcFlurry.”

Mousse batted at her leash. “Nyeh.”

“And a four-piece WcNugget.”

Sandwiched between two cars, L and Mousse shuffled to the take-out window. The employee said nothing. WcFlurry in hand, L looked around, tentatively stepped into the parking lot and back through the bushes. 

They were, once again, stationed at a park bench. Mousse scarfed down all her nuggets in a matter of milliseconds. L perched beside her licking ice cream off his straw. She wore the nugget box on her head as she bared her fangs triumphantly at a few pigeons. 

“Mau!”

“I see. Very nice.”

Without warning, the pigeons panicked and flew away. Someone was walking towards them. Mousse perked up. _Human! Light!...WAIT._

 _HE’S HOLDING ANOTHER CAT? WHY?! HOW DARE HE._ Mousse was already contemplating an elaborate assassination. 

L was bemused, somewhat amused. There was Light with some strange cat his arms, hell, the cat even had a collar. He met Light’s eyes and cocked his head. “Who’s this?”

“I got him from the shelter.” Light raised his chin. He refused to look embarrassed. “His name is Manju.”

“ _Manju._ ” L’s spindly finger poked Manju in the head. L grinned sheepishly. “He’s fluffy.”

“MRRROWOWOWOWW.” said Mousse.

~

 _SLAM._ L was pinned on the kitchen island with Light’s tie in his fists. They were practically nose-to-nose, eyelashes barely ghosting each other. L hummed. “As much as I like seeing you all dressed up-” 

“ _I know, I know._ ” Light cut him off and smashed their mouths together. Without another word, a dazed L was pulled up and led into the bedroom. He only managed to throw off his shirt before the door shut. 

Mousse sat hunched over, L’s shirt unceremoniously draped over her. 

“Mrmrmrm…” She glanced over at Manju, who was just _here_ in her den now. The dumb hairball had gotten himself stuck in the fireplace. Unfortunately, there was no fire. Mousse knew it wouldn’t be that easy to get rid of him, so she had to flesh out a plan. It was awfully hard to think, what with Manju and the caterwauls sounding from the bedroom. 

_Flump._ Manju managed to get himself unstuck and now he was just staring at her with a placid expression. Mousse bounced on her toes and hissed. 

“MRFFTFFT.”

Manju waltzed past her and towards the glass door. He mewed. He balanced on stocky hind legs and pawed at the handle. A few seconds of fiddling produced an open door, to Mousse’s dismay and amazement. How come she didn’t think of that first? How dare he. _WAIT, NO. THIS IS PERFECT._

Manju peered down through the rail at the park below. Fool. Mousse bunched up her hindquarters and sprang on Manju, who whirled around and immediately suplexed her. Mousse plummeted off the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun-dun-dun.....The fifth chapter will be the last chapter, for this little series anyway! Thank you so much for the kudos and comments! (=^-ω-^=)


	5. Calamity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We continue our story after Mousse is hurtled off the balcony. Why Manju, why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a lot of different POVs! This chapter, while taking me the longest to actually sit down and complete, was definitely the one I had the most fun on, heheh.

_Sniff. Sniff. Den big._ Manju hobbled around the apartment, snuffling at every object in his vicinity. _Goodness_ , he hadn’t been able to walk around in, to put it bluntly, _years!_ It felt just splendid to stretch his back without bumping the roof of his cage. _Free, free, free._

He nosed his way to a smoky-smelling pit barred off by metal spears. _Smells like fire. Sniff, sniff._ He squished his head through the spikes to get a closer look. Just a pile of ash in there. _Aww._ He tried to pull his head out. _Oh. Oops._ Repeatedly, he attempted to escape until he barrelled backward. Manju could feel a black cat’s gaze on his suspended rear. He scrambled back on his feet to face her. _Mousse. Skinny perpetually annoyed black cat. Presumably, the head of this household._ Mousse’s ears were flattened against her head. They were like that ever since they first met. Manju gave her what he hoped was a friendly expression. 

“MRFFTFT.” Mousse hissed. 

Now, Manju wasn’t one for confrontation, he simply nodded her way and waltzed past her to inspect the curious invisible wall. _Leads outside. Sparkly city. Oh, look, a door._ He’d always observed the door opposite to his cage at the shelter very closely. Afterall, he didn’t really have anything else to do. All the humans had to do was fiddle with the handle, and _voila!_ An open door. Manju could probably do that. He balanced on his stocky hind legs and pawed at the handle. _Ah...ah...AHA!_ Nonchalantly, the door slid open. _Sniff, sniff, sniff. City air._ The fort of trees surrounding the apartment did nothing to distract from the glittering structures in the distance. They were almost blinding. _Humans...build these? So giant. They dwarf the trees._ Manju was perfectly content to just sit and observe everything his vision could capture. He sniffed again. _City..trees...Mousse.._

“MRRREEOW!”

A sudden weight slammed into his back. Instinctively, he spun around and grappled Mousse. His back legs punched into her belly and he was free of her weight. _Wait._ He managed to catch a glimpse of his adversary plummeting down, down, down. Straight off the balcony. 

_Oh, OH NO._ He had only been here for a few moments and he had ALREADY dispatched the resident cat. _Oh,_ who _knows_ what might happen to her out there? He hadn’t known her for very long at all, but he never liked to relish in the thought of _any_ cat getting lost and possibly _eaten_ . He paced around the balcony stiff-legged and bushy-tailed. _Hmm. Maybe if I found her. Then led her back to home. Yeah!_ Manju turned to head back through the door, but it slammed open before him with a resounding _SMASH_ . _Uh oh, human._

L was practically bristling. Mousse was ABSOLUTELY missing. She wasn’t in _any_ drawers, cupboards, closets, or _anywhere_ else dark and cramped. The only way she could have possibly escaped was through the glass door, which was wide open for _some_ reason, and straight off the balcony. He peered down the ledge but alas, no puff of black fur was to be seen. He grabbed Manju and hustled back inside. He then poked his head in their bedroom. 

“LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.” 

When Light didn’t answer, L crawled on the bed and poked his cheek.

“Mousse is _missing_.”

Light groaned softly and sunk even further into the bed. “Mmmgh. She’ll turn up. Cats usually do. Didn’t you say she was a stray when you found her?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Well, then she must be used to the outside. She’ll come back.”

L pouted. “Not like we have anything to do today. C’mon, get up.” He tugged on Light’s arm. “PLEEEEEEEEAAA-”

“OKAY, OKAY,” Light sat up and stretched his arms. “ _I’m up._ Stop badgering me.”

L released Light’s arm with a small smirk and leaped off the bed triumphantly. “The hunt is on, then.”

~

 _HOW DARE HE, HOW DARE HE. OH, DAMN THAT HAIRBALL!_ Mousse hissed and spat at nothing. She had circled around the apartment about ten times to find some kind of entrance. Little opportunity presented itself. How did she just let some _newbie_ FLING her off her own balcony? She was a steaming ball of fury under the midday sun. Bitter as she was, she couldn’t quelch her growing hunger. She hadn’t eaten her meal this morning in hopes of her humans giving her something less _dry_ than that kibble stuff. Well now that she was out here, might as well get some REAL meat. _Hmmph. I know how to hunt._

Mousse balanced on the edge of a trash can and scanned the contents. _Gee, humans sure are wasteful. Good for me then._ She clawed at something that looked like a half-eaten stick of jerky. Upon hooking the jerky with one claw, something even more enticing caught her eye. _A HAMBURGER!_ Carefully, she arched her neck forward to grab the divine sandwich. _What a catch! Wonder if other house cats would be willing to dig through a dumpster._ Well, _she’s_ been a house cat for what, only two days? Her hunting instincts won’t just disappear. They better not.

Mousse found a thick bush to nestle under, it filtered sunlight through quite nicely. Her humans will probably notice her absence by now. She could wait. It was nice to really _feel_ the sun outside, not just through a window. Her charcoal fur only absorbed more heat. The hamburger was cold and clammy though. Maybe it would warm up if she left it the sun. 

She wiggled out of her shelter to drop the hamburger on a nearby tree stump. She curled next to the stump and yawned. She couldn’t help tossing and turning in the fluffy grass like a kitten. She couldn’t really do this on a harness, could she? She could, but it would certainly be uncomfortable. Perhaps she could find times to sneak out on her own, while the humans were working maybe. Or during those times when they lock her out of their bedroom. She could be a house cat _and_ a stray, couldn’t she? She stared at the unobstructed blue sky. She wouldn’t want her humans to get all _morose_ every time she went out. They would probably get used to it though, from what she’s seen and heard, humans are _very_ adaptable. Not like she could explain to her humans the allure of leashless-ness. _Hm_ , she had never once thought that _she_ would be brought in by a _human_ , let alone a pair. Let alone a pair of males. She let the bizarreness of her new situation sink in like the rays of the sun. 

Oh right, sun. She was cooking her hamburger. She stretched for a bit where she had rolled away from the tree stump. 

The tree stump...HAD NO HAMBURGER SITTING ON IT?? SOME _PURLOINER_ MUST HAVE _STOLEN_ IT! 

She sank to the ground and let out a disappointed “ _waaaauw_ ”. _Such is the law of nature. Kill or be killed. Steal or be stolen from._ Mousse jumped back to her paws with newfound fervor. _WELL, I’m just gonna have to STEAL it back!_

It wasn’t long before she found the marauder loitering by the road. A fierce round tanuki. The furry ovoid gave her a stony look, **_HER_ ** hamburger stuffed in its jowls. Now, tanukis had the advantage of being canine, which meant a much stronger bite force. But, _canines_ aren’t as quick with their claws as _felines_ are. Maybe Mousse could get it to drop the hamburger, she could intimidate it or something. They were about the same size. The bristling tanuki made a warning warble. She hissed back and bounced a little on her toes. The dog responded with a bout of angry chittering. 

_Well, this is going nowhere. I WANT MY DAMN BURGER!_ **_KILL OR BE KILLED!!_ **

Mousse sprung at the tanuki and sank her claws in its thick scruff. Mousse yipped as it whirled around and snapped at her ear. 

_WAIT, THAT MEANS THE BURGER IS ALONE AND UNPROTECTED!_ Mousse pummeled her back legs into its belly and it sprang back with a wail. Mousse snatched the burger and glared at the dog. The morsel tasted of canine saliva, but food is food. The tanuki squeaked and abruptly streaked across the road. Mousse could tell from where the dog was looking when it fled that its sudden departure _wasn’t_ because of her. She immediately assumed a defensive stance. 

_Oh?_ No, it was only a human child. One with striking white hair, wearing bland white pajamas. Something seemed familiar about this kid... _a-HA, it’s the EYES._ Those wide grey eyes. This kid must be related to her very own _L_. Yes, she decided, this human is trustworthy. 

~

“NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-AR!!!!” 

“No good Mells, we must’ve lost him back at the station.”

Mello huffed. Near was too _small_ , that’s why. He must have gotten swept away by the tsunami of train riders. Or they lost him before they even got _on_ their train and Near ended up on the wrong one. 

“Dummy,” he muttered. He and Matt must’ve been poking around in alleyways and neighborhoods for a whole HOUR. 

“If he finds a dog, he’ll die.” 

Was Matt trying to lighten the mood? Probably. Afterall, Near hated animals. Well, maybe _hate_ wasn’t the right word, more like he was _irrationally petrified_ by the presence of any animal. _Any animal._ One of the orphans had a therapy dog who tagged along with her everywhere she went. An imposing black Tibetan mastiff, yet completely harmless. Never really did anything but lie around yawning, practically a cat in a dog’s body. Yet Near still kept himself at a 10 foot distance from her at all times. 

Yeah, they better find him before some wild animal does.

After aimlessly cantering around for what seemed like _another_ hour, Matt pointed out what looked like the high rise apartment L and whatever-his-boyfriend’s-name-was lived in. 

Matt looked at Mello with a cheeky smirk. “Hey, Mells. What if Near already beat us here?”

Mello shook his head, golden hair fluffing out. “HRRRRGH. Well, THAT would mean all of our SEARCHING was for NOTHING. Im’na give that cottonhead a piece of my mind-” He cut off as Matt nudged his elbow and pointed at some ugly guy standing in front of the hotel doors. _Is that L? Near’s not with him, so he’s probably still lost. AHA, I WAS HERE FIRST._

The figure noticed them and dropped on all fours, clambering towards them.

“Hiya kids.” 

Mello gaped. “ **_B?!_ ** ” _WHY- Or no, HOW is he HERE?_

B leaned over them, his slouching form blocking the sun. “Hey, I haven’t seen you two since you were baby detectives!”

Before Mello could protest, Matt interjected, “We’ve been lookin’ for Near. You seen him?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen him.” B walked off.

“Wha-HEY, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE.” Mello sprinted in front of B.

B’s eyes widened slightly before breaking into a crocodilian grin. “Oh, you want to know _where_ he is. Well, guess I better show you, I don’t remember any of the streets here. Saw he was hanging out with a cat and a big-ass dog.”

Mello looked at Matt. Matt looked at Mello. They both grimaced.

~

Near sulkily climbed off the train, the train Mello and Matt _should’ve_ taken with him. The three of them had ended up at the train station thirty minutes before their train was to arrive. Mello and Matt had bolted for the departing train, leaving Near to be swept away by the crowds. And so he waited for the train they were SUPPOSED to take. 

The heat of the pavement seared right through his socks as he hopped off the train. His shoes, which were actually just Mello’s old sneakers, were in his backpack, but he didn’t bother to put them on. Thankfully, he could clearly see L’s apartment towering above in the sky like a beacon. _Correction, L and his boyfriend’s apartment._ Near couldn’t remember his name, just that the man was far too pretty and acted way too polite. Near didn’t really _know_ him at all. L didn’t seem like the type to fall for someone based on looks alone, but then, Near never thought L _could_ fall in love. He’d probably get a better idea of L’s enigmatic suitor in person rather than through a computer. 

He walked for a few minutes, staring at the pavement deep in thought until he halted. A black cat ogled at him with wide green eyes. Near squeaked, backpedaling furiously. The cat, not taking the hint or just flat out IGNORING it, padded after him. 

“MAAAAAAAAAAAU."

Near spun around booked it for the altitudinous apartment, winding through the mess of seemingly out-of-place suburban houses and small shops. Cats were fast, but, fortunately, they had low stamina. Unfortunately, so did Near. He gave one last sprint around a corner and fell on his stomach. He shook his head and looked up.

“ _Wuf_.”

Near’s mouth went dry. He wanted to melt into the concrete. Not only was the CAT still following him, but now he stumbled upon a GIANT GERMAN SHEPHARD. Near wasn’t the type to pray for his life, so he didn’t. He just curled up on the pavement and mentally recalled his will, all of which was going to Mello, who would probably be laughing his ass off right now. Near shivered on the road as the dog slowly rose to its paws and padded towards him. The dog nuzzled his socked foot. The cat sniffed the other. Near screamed.

~

L bustled down the street with Light in tow. They had heard a screech in the distance that sounded distinctly like Near’s. 

They found Near curled up on the road along with- 

“HEY, THAT’S MATSUDA’S DOG!” Light lunged towards the stocky german shepherd, right past their cat. 

L silently crawled towards Mousse and scooped her into his arms. She purred, her entire body bristling as she nuzzled up to his chin. L let out a soft sigh. _I really thought I had lost her, JUST after getting her. That would’ve been depressing._ But who cared? He allowed himself to marinate in the sentiment of the moment, forgetting about everything else…

Light lugged the dog away from Near, giving the boy an apologetic grin. “Ryuzaki told me you didn’t like animals.” The dog woofed. 

Near shifted further away and sat on his legs. “I just don’t want to get bitten,” he mumbled. 

“Well, most dogs won’t bite for no reason. Most dogs. It hasn’t hurt you, has it?”

“No, but-”

“Have you ever been bitten by a dog?”

“No, but-”

“Look, it won’t bite,” Light held a hand out to the dog. “ _Shake.”_

_*CHOMP*_

“ **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”**

Light’s howl of agony sent ferocious seismic waves tearing through the crust of the earth as well as punching a sizable dent into the ozone layer and possibly causing a mild tremor in the magnetosphere. 

“ **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”**

Somewhere far beyond what the human mind can imagine, the Gods of Death are thoroughly enjoying this interlude in their monotonous schedule. 

“ **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”**

L attempted to hold Near and Mousse while also keeping the two far apart as he could manage. He squinted as he gazed up at Light’s atomic heat beam of vocalization shooting up into a madly swirling atmosphere. It was beautiful, in an other-worldly kind of way. 

**”AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAAAGH...** **_EEEGGGHH_ ** **...”** When he was finished, Light wormed on the road whining whilst the dog looked on with searing apathy. 

L picked up Near while Mousse settled on his shoulders. “Hey, Light. We’re going.” L offered his leg and Light grabbed on to it (with his good hand). 

The panting dog padded after them.

“No, _shoo_ you git _._ ” L kicked at the dog with his free leg.

* _CHOMP*_

L seemed to freeze in time. His eyes greyed and his twiggy legs gave out. Near and Mousse fell to the ground.

“ **HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH-** ”

Now, L’s resounding wail wasn’t quite as mind-shatteringly cataclysmic as his partner’s was but it still was a sight to behold. L had fallen completely on his side and was hugging his knees to his chest. When he was done, he just kicked out his left leg and retracted it. Out and back. Out and back. The dog still overlooked Light splayed on the ground like a starfish, still teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. 

~

It wasn’t long until Mello and company found Near sitting under a telephone sullenly with L and Light... _dead?_ No, just knocked out for some reason. There was also the cat and dog B told them about. Mello and Matt had to help drag L to the apartment while B carried Light. Near and the cat followed behind, the dog had seemingly disappeared. Locals swerved to avoid them trudging down the sidewalk.

Manju was very happy to see Mousse back and unharmed. Mousse was confused as to why Manju cared. The fluffy tabby didn’t think it warranted explanation. He gave Mousse a thorough grooming and Mousse didn’t object.

Yuki, the german shepherd, was found and returned to a suffocatingly grateful Matsuda. Light and L were rewarded for their trouble with a single melon pan. It’s all Matsuda had on him at the moment. Light and L accepted it with as much dignity as you can offer a bestower of 200 yen melon pan. 

~

Now, the two men sat contently squished on the couch for a movie night. L’s boys sat on the floor against the couch, huddled under one blanket while B perched on the side table. Manju and Mousse had tangled themselves into a feline pretzel. Per B’s request, they had all settled on watching a classic American film. 

“ _ According to all known laws _

_ of aviation, there is no way a bee _

_ should be able to fly. _

_ It’s wings are too small to get _

_ it’s fat little body off the ground. _

_ The bee, of course, flies anyway, _

_ because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. _ ”

Light lay snuggled up on L’s lap watching his beau snarf down the melon pan. Light got an odd sense of pleasure being all sappy and gross in front of company, or at least, company he was familiar with. He slightly whimpered as a few stray crumbs fell in his hair. 

“ _ Manners. _ ” He softly reprimanded, pressing a finger to L’s full mouth.

L swallowed and snorted. “ _ Shhh _ , we’re watching a  movie _. _ ” He poked his own sugar-glossed finger to Light’s lips. 

Light narrowed his eyes and licked it.  _ He was asking for it. _ He squeaked when L bit his finger right back. 

“BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUURGHH” Mello glowered at the two from the floor. “If you're not gonna watch the movie then GET A ROOM.”

B cackled from his perch on the table. “L AND LIGHT SITTIN’ IN A TREE, F-U-”

“Ya like jazz?” said Jerry Seinfeld as Barry B. Benson.

Mello, Matt, and B broke out into raucous fits of convulsion. They whooped and hollered and rolled around banging on the floor. The others sat in bewildered silence. 

Light crawled off L and lowered his voice to a low purr, “Yes, I think we  _ will  _ get a room.”

Finis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HALLELUJAH. My FIRST FIC IS FINISHED!! Thank you to those who commented and gave kudos, and I hope people continue to enjoy my silly little exercise in surrealist humor!


End file.
